Letter's Between Us
by Yojimbra
Summary: Haku awakens to find herself alive and broken. Her purpose in life gone she is little more than a tool left to rust in the rain. The kindness of the bridge builders family and the letters from Naruto might be enough to give her a new reason to live. Fem Haku. Themes of depression and Suicide.


Oh.

She was alive.

Disappointing. Or was it? If she was alive Zabuza might be as well.

She needed to know.

The room around her was the kind of cold that crept in during the dead of night. The only shelter against this cold was the warm, humid blankets that hugged her tightly. It was nothing she hadn't felt before, but it was still strange, foreign, unusual. It smelled lived in, a bit like beer, the cheap kind, but also had that earthy smell of a home-cooked meal.

Then there was the scent of blood and the pain of her chest and arm, most of her right side hurt. Right, where that leaf ninja's hand had gone through her body. Her face didn't hurt from where Naruto hit her, how long had it been since that fight?

She pushed through the pain and sat up, flinching at the tightness of her bandages and the burning of her right arm. It felt like it was on fire. There was a stump. It was gone. Her right arm wasn't there anymore. Just a bloody stump wrapped in a bandage.

A broken tool.

Zabuza. She needed to find Zabuza. She could still be useful. She had to be. There was still more that she could do. So much more. She pushed her legs underneath her with the same ease and grace she always had, until she stumbled forward just the slightest bit. It made no more noise than a step but the failure echoed within her.

Her room was a simple one, sparsely decorated save for a few family photos. Of the bridge builder? Why was she here? Did Zabuza fail? Were the leaf ninja successful? How many were dead?

The pit in her stomach sapped her strength and made her head spin, forcing her to brace against the wall. Broken, shattered, weak, pathetic. Useless. Another step, she needed to find out what happened to Zabuza. Where was he, why was she here? Why was she still alive?

One step at a time, each one let her ignore just that much more of her weakness. She left the room seeking the closest person. Running water came from down the hallway, a kitchen, or a bath. A low humming came into focus, it was cheerful, happy, pleasant and accompanied the scent of food.

It was enough to make her stomach growl.

The kitchen was simple and fused with the dining room, a woman with long blue hair was humming as she cut into some vegetables. She was the bridge builder's daughter, Gato had suggested kidnapping or killing her to stop the bridge builder, Zabuza had thought the same but hated being told what to do. Her smile was not of one that had lost a loved one.

"Where's Zabuza?"

She jumped, the knife still in her hand, it would offer little protection, the woman had no training. "Oh," The woman relaxed when she noticed her, placing the knife down next to the vegetables. "Haku, you're awake, but you really should still be in bed, you're still recovering. The doctor said-"

"Where's Zabuza?" She asked again using the wall to keep her straight. Her head was spinning and blackness began to creep in around her vision, only the edge of the knife stayed in focus. "I need to see him."

"I'm sorry Haku, but Zabuza died on the bridge."

Zabuza died. He was dead. Gone. It wasn't true. It couldn't happen. She should have died instead of him. She looked at the woman, scanning for any kind of hint. She wasn't afraid if anything she was worried about her with the same kind of pity a man might give an abandoned puppy.

Which was what she was, a discarded tool, too broken to be of any use to anybody. "Then kill me," She tried to maintain eye contact with the woman, but the pain pushed her eyes down to that knife edge once again, it wasn't as sharp as Zabuza's blade, but it could slice her skin all the same. The neck was weak. "Please, if I can't be useful to him then I don't want to live."

She stumbled forward but the woman caught her. "No, Naruto asked me to look after you, we owe him that much."

Naruto? The blonde boy. The one that fought so hard to save his friend. The one she met in the forest. Why did it matter to him if she lived or died, they were enemies. Or were. "Why?"

"Let's get you back to bed first, I'll bring you some food later as well, just stay calm okay?" Her voice was soft, the trained voice of a mother, so similar to her own mother. It was soothing, even as she felt her body slip into the woman's arms.

She didn't have the strength to protest, it had taken so much just to get here. Without Zabuza, she had no reason to continue. The blackness claimed her.

XXXX

Hunger gnawed at her mind, consuming every other thought save for the scent of that woman's cooking. She was a ninja, this was nothing. She pressed the feelings of hunger aside allowing despair to fill that void. It was just an unavoidable fact, she was still alive.

But why?

The ceiling of the room was low, and the sheets of her bed had been changed, smelling less like sweat and blood and more like the salty sea air and spring flowers. Why?

"Oh!" Her eyes snapped to the small boy, the bridge builder's grandson. How long had he been there? Was he here to kill her? No, he was too weak, too much of a child, his heart was still pure. "You're awake, hold on." He stood, brushing off his pants, the paper he was looking at was still on the floor. "I'll go get my mom!"

He was off and running before she found her voice.

Her eyes were drawn towards the cup of tea that sat next to her bed, a wet spot from something recently spilled sat underneath the plate. Did she do that? How did she not notice? She truly was a broken tool, unable to even move properly. She moved her arm to reach for the cup but found nothing.

Right. Broken.

With her left arm, she reached for the cup, it was still warm to the touch. The cool liquid poured down her throat quenching a hidden thirst. Her breaths came easier now, no longer burning her throat and the only pain coming from her chest. Another reminder of failure.

What now? Wait to die? Zabuza was gone, she had no reason to live. What was a tool without a master? Scrap left to rust in the rain. A fate she wouldn't wish on anybody.

"Settle down Inari, you're going to make me trip." The woman's voice came from the hallway, her footsteps sounded odd like she was trying to balance something. Food most likely. Her stomach growled and her mouth watered at the thought. Her traitorous body wanted to live.

"Sorry, mom." The child's voice - Inari - said, his steps frequent, following behind his mothers.

The two appeared a moment later, the woman wearing a pleasant smile. What had she done to earn this kindness, they were enemies not too long ago. Tazuna was their target, and this was his family, to aid her was to aid someone that would rob them of him. So why?

"How are you feeling Haku? A bit better I hope?" She asked, coming to sit near her side bringing a thick fish based meal with a large helping of vegetables, it was almost enough to give in to the hunger.

"I'm," she paused, searching for the right word. Was there even a word for this? Yes, there was. Just one. "I'm alive."

That gave the woman pause. "Oh, well that's certainly good, but, here," She held up the tray, setting it between them so that the full force of the smell hit her. It was truly a wonderful meal. "Eat, I'm sure you must be hungry, it's been quite some time."

How long? She stared at the food.

"Do you need help?" Inari pressed his hands onto her bed, "Oh and-"

"Inari," his mother chided, in that way mothers so often did. "I told you to wait, she has more important things to do at the moment."

Before, she would have laughed here. Now it was too much to even smile. She grit her teeth and swallowed her hunger. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because Naruto asked us too."

The pureness caught her by surprise. "But we're enemies."

"Not anymore," the woman smiled at her, then it faded. "If I tell you what happened will you eat something."

The fish was in her mouth before she could nod her head. It was salty, a bit dry, but the flavor was unlike anything she had ever tasted, it was as though she was eating a refreshing sea breeze, basking in the shallow tides. What's more, it fed that gnawing beast that had taken up residence in her stomach. "Please, do."

"In short, Gato betrayed you," Snake. Liar. Thief. Rat. She should have killed him when she had the chance. But he was useful. Was. "He hired a bunch of thugs to attack you and the leaf ninja and kill my father. That was how Zabuza died, still injured he charged the thugs and managed to kill Gato at the cost of his life. After that, we managed to clear out the thugs and the bridge was complete."

"He died a hero," The woman said placing her hand onto Haku's bed and smiling at her.

"Zabuza was no hero," Haku stared at the food before her, that fish turning to ash in her mouth. They should have killed Gato, they should have left when he first lost to Kakashi and his team. "He was a ninja. Nothing more, nothing less."

"I'm sorry," That smile didn't fade, it was filled with nothing but pity for a broken tool that had failed her master. "But, you don't get to decide who we call a hero, in the end, he died saving us. And that is what's important."

She could hear Zabuza's laugh, bitter, full of pride and confidence sneering at someone calling him a hero. He relished in his title of demon, welcomed the screams of his victims and relished staring into their eyes as their life came to a sudden and silent end. He was not a hero. He was her master.

To call him a hero was an insult to his life.

"Does he have a grave?"

The woman nodded. "He does, it's a bit far but we can take you there once you've recovered enough." She pushed the food towards her once again, "So eat, drink, and rest."

Haku nodded, taking another bite of the fish. The taste was gone, it was nothing but nourishment now. She would recover enough to see Zabuza's grave, and there she would die beside him like a proper tool.

"Good," The woman stood, reaching into her shirt to pull out an envelope. "This came from Naruto, he sent one to me and Inari as well, I think you should read it after you eat." She placed the envelope onto the tray. "Come on Inari, let her rest."

"Aww, but I wanted to know what Naruto said," Inari whined, grabbing to pick up his own letter.

"Later."

Then they were gone, leaving her to the bitter taste of failure and slightly overcooked vegetables. She stared at Naruto's letter for a long moment. What could that foolish boy that trusted her have to say about any of this? His naivety would do nothing for her save for sate some easy to ignore curiosity.

She finished the meal, leaving the letter to sit on the table. It wouldn't matter anyway.

 **AN: This is not rated M for sex. There will be no lemon for this fic.**

 **Now that that's out of the way, hi! I hope you all find this fic interesting. It's been on the bucket list since... geeze Naruto is Not a Teddy Bear?**


End file.
